Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
