You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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