theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I need water and some morals
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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