You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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