I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
