It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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