whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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