I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He's a Shit stain on my heart
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
