That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
