(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
