I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
