Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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