im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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