I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
