But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
