gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
you didnt know i had herpes?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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