You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
