it wasn't lemon gatorade
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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