sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
