Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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