She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I pour the whiskey from now on
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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