I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
