OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
