Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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