i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
