so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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