you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
