I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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