i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
