I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm too high and old for this...
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
