Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
