My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
