So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
