Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
