he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
