my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
