After last night, I could never be a politician.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
