mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
