Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
