what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
