Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
