Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
