I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
