My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
you inspire me to be a worse person
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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