The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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