As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
