I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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