I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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