This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
