I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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