I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
